Lousy Cop

Dear Mr./Mrs. Citizen

Well, I guess you have figured me out. I seem to fit neatly into the category you place me in. I'm stereotyped, characterized, standardized, classified, grouped, and always typical. I am the lousy cop.

Unfortunately, the reverse isn't true. I can never figure you out. From birth you teach your children that I am a person to beware of. Then, you are shocked when they identify me with my traditional enemy....The criminal.

You accuse me of coddling juveniles, until I catch your kid doing something wrong.

You take an hour lunch, and several coffee breaks each day, then, point me out as a loafer if you see me have just one cup.

You pride yourself on your polished manners, but think nothing of interrupting my meals at noon with your troubles.

You raise hell about the guy who cuts you off in traffic, but, let me catch you doing the same thing, and all of a sudden I am picking on you.

You know ALL the traffic laws, but, never got one single ticket you deserved.

You shout "Abuse of Authority" if you see me driving fast to an emergency call, but raise 9 kinds of hell if I take more than 30 seconds responding to yours.

You call it "Part of my job" if someone hits me, but yell "Police brutality" if I strike back.

You would never think of telling your dentist how to pull a badly decayed tooth, or your doctor how to take out your appendix, but, you are ALWAYS willing to give me pointers on how to be a police officer.

You talk to me in a manner, and use language that would assure a bloody nose from anyone else, but, you expect me to stand there and take your verbal abuse without batting an eye.

You cry, "Something has to be done about crime", but you cant be bothered to get involved.

You have no use for me what so ever, but of course, it's OK for me to change a tire for your wife, or deliver your baby in the back seat of my patrol car enroute to the hospital, or, save your sons life with CPR and mouth to mouth resuscitation, or even forsake time with MY family working long hours overtime trying to find your lost daughter.

So, dear citizen, you stand there on your soapbox and rant and rave about the way I do my job, calling me every name in the book, but, never stop a minute to think that your property, your family, and maybe your life might someday depend on one thing......Me.

Respectfully,
A Lousy Cop