THE POLICEMAN

WHAT IS A POLICEMAN MADE OF? HE, OF ALL MEN, IS AT ONCE THE MOST NEEDED AND THE MOST UNWANTED.

HE IS A STRANGELY NAMELESS CREATURE WHO IS "SIR" TO HIS FACE AND "FUZZ" BEHIND HIS BACK.

IF THE POLICEMAN IS NEAT, HE'S CONCEITED; IF HE IS CARELESS, HE IS A BUM.

IF HE'S PLEASANT, HE'S A FLIRT; IF HE'S NOT HE'S A GROUCH.

IF HE HURRIES, HE'S CARELESS; IF HE'S DELIBERATE, HE'S LAZY.

HE MUST BE FIRST TO AN ACCIDENT AND INFALLIBLE WITH A DIAGNOSIS.

HE MUST BE ABLE TO START BREATHING, STOP BLEEDING, TIE SPLINTS AND, ABOVE ALL, BE SURE THE VICTIM GOES HOME WITHOUT A LIMP, OR EXPECT TO GET SUED.

THE POLICE OFFICER MUST KNOW EVERY GUN, DRAW ON THE RUN, AND HIT WHERE IT DOESN'T HURT.

HE MUST BE ABLE TO WHIP TWO MEN TWICE HIS SIZE AND HALF HIS AGE WITHOUT DAMAGING HIS UNIFORM AND WITHOUT BEING "BRUTAL".

THE POLICEMAN MUST BE A MINISTER, A SOCIAL WORKER, A DIPLOMAT, A TOUGH GUY, AND A GENTLEMAN.

AND OF COURSE HE'LL HAVE TO BE A GENIUS....FOR HE'LL HAVE TO FEED A FAMILY ON A POLICEMAN'S SALARY.

AUTHOR UNKNOWN